Nest

on Thursday, 22 February 2007

It was a very pleasant evening- Calm and serene.. The trees held their customary counsel with the wind and the birds added their opinion zestfully. The grass was wet with dew, and the flowers were in full bloom, welcoming the bees to a savoury feast of the best nectar. Sowmya looked into the clear water of the pond and found a school of fish swimming around in glee. The Earth seemed to be dressing up for a very special occasion. Nature had never looked this seductive. Sowmya wondered if some invisible fairies were at work, decorating the earth for an important celebration. Heaven, thought Sowmya.

She looked up at the sky and was startled to see the stark difference. The sky refused to mirror the happiness that was so plentiful on earth. It had its own tale to tell. It spoke of darkness and sorrow, of misery and evil. It spun tales of lost battles and spilled blood. The dark clouds became even darker as the tales neared their gloomy ends. They spoke of the valiant king who roamed the skies flooding the universe with his brilliance. In fact, they said, he is still here! And they suddenly turned against the setting sun and cornered him, moving with some manic energy. The sun put up a fight worthy of his valor, but in the end he had to give up and the dark clouds took over the skies plunging the world into darkness. Material gloom, thought Sowmya.

With a little shiver Sowmya brought herself back to her situation. She was waiting for Rajeev at the community park. She wondered if he would come. She wondered if she herself was ready for this. Was it a mistake? She couldn’t decide. Rajeev was everything she ever wanted. Till he came, life was nothing but a disappointment to her. She grew up believing that she was special. She knew her life was going to be different. She waited for her knight in shining armor to come and sweep her off her feet and take her to the magical land of her dreams. He would be as adventurous and dashing as she was and together they would explore the uncharted lands of the world, meet wonderful new people and have a very interesting life.

But if the knight was Rajeev, he took too much time to come. Meanwhile her parents had forced her to marry a peasant, (yes, if Rajeev was a knight then Nandan was a mere peasant) on a bullock-cart. She laughed mirthlessly as an image of Nandan dressed in a peasant’s dress and riding a bullock-cart entered her mind. Nandan wasn’t poor; in fact he was quite well to do. He belonged to the clan of software engineers. They are like ants, thought sowmya, Clones of one another. They bored her, as did Nandan. Early in her marriage she resented everything about Nandan, right from his neat wardrobe to his pearl white Maruti zen. But Nandan always tried to keep her happy. She knew he loved her, but there was no passion in him. He was very passive and was content to just sit at home and watch cricket. The only time she ever saw him get excited was when Google desktop was released. “Google is going to take over the world!”, he would say . She had resigned herself to a life of boredom.

But life suddenly became exciting when the twins came into Sowmya’s life. She was very thrilled about being a mother. But lately, they too had started to get on her nerves. They always wanted her attention over something. Just like those baby pigeons thought Sowmya, observing a nest on the tree next to the bench she was sitting on. Only one of the parent pigeons, probably the dad thought Sowmaya wryly ,was there to look after them, and it had a tough time attending to all the kids. Just like Nandan would have a tough time taking care of the kids. She felt her stomach twist to knots as she thought about this. She was a mother, and guilt filled her as she realized that she was abandoning her children. She quickly put this thought away, reasoning that they were better off without her.

She shook her head and looked at her watch, it was 6 :30. Rajeev said he would be there at 6 : 30. A strange excitement filled her, as she thought about Rajeev. Rajeev was Nandan’s boss and he was smitten the first time he laid eyes on Sowmya. He had wooed her as her dashing knight would and asked her to elope with him. Sowmya had refused his passes at her in the beginning, but she soon got carried away by his charm. He was after all everything she had ever wanted. Nandan never suspected anything. He was a very trusting man, quite endearing, thought Sowmya. Hours melted into days, and days to weeks, and suddenly here she was, sitting in a park, waiting for Rajeev to take her away from her boring life.

She felt a drop fall on her cheek and she looked up. It was starting to drizzle. She ran for cover and stood under the tree on which she spotted the nest. It promptly started raining heavily and her ears were filled with the loud sound of water splashing onto the ground. She stood there and wishing that Rajeev would hurry up and get there fast.

Suddenly, the nest fell to the floor and the little pigeons scattered all over the ground. They were crippled without their wings and the parent tried its best to gather them together and shield them with its wings. Concern filled her as she looked at the little ones getting wet and screeching in pain. She didn’t want to scare the parent away, so she stood motionless and watched the parent pigeon’s valiant effort to save its family. But it was in vain- the parent pigeon’s wigs weren’t big enough to cover all the little ones. She had just decided to do something and stepped forward when the other parent pigeon flew into sight. It settled down on the floor and unfurled its wings. It covered the remaining little ones with its wings. Sowmya stared, captivated. The parents together had achieved what one could not.

Sowmya turned and walked away into the rain….

I So Wish I Were A Fish!

on Friday, 2 February 2007

You know? Fish are really interesting creatures. They come in all sorts of colours- from the serene blues to the out –of- the- world blacks , oh!, the radiant reds and of course the vivacious oranges. Its not just the colours though, there are shapes and sizes too! There are the humongous whales and the tiny rice fish. They eat a whole lot of things too…some fish are vegetarian while others are not.

So... just imagine being a fish, I know you are thinking “why???!!!”, but just wait a minute and imagine. It would be really cool! Fish have enumerable advantages over human beings. Well, if not anything, you would at least have a very colourful life!

You know, that feeling you get sometimes, like your head is too cluttered?? They say that the memory span of gold fish is about three seconds. So if you were a gold fish, this problem would be solved! All that you would have in your mind would be-

“Hmm…I’m hungry…wonder where I can get some food … I think I need to go do—Hmm…. I’m hungry….wonder when I can get some food….I think I need to go do- ….”

Of course, you would have a very genuine reason for forgetting people’s birthdays!

“Hey! What do I know dude.. I am just a gold fish!”

Their attention span is supposed to be 9 seconds, another great reason to tell your prof when he catches you snoozing in class –“ Hey! What do I know dude…I am just a goldfish!”

And yeah, fish get to travel a lot, they are rolling stones, they don’t stop at a place for long. And ergo, they don’t gather moss! For all those people who love adventure- Dream come true, isn’t it?? You could just pack your little cases and swim around all over the world- The world is your aquarium baby!!!

Groups of fish are called “school of fish” , so school would be great fun, all you would do is hang out with the guys!

Another trivial advantage-fish don’t have noses; they just have gills…so no one would ever get a chance to tease you about your funny little nose.

I could write a doctoral thesis on “the advantages of fish over human beings” . They don’t have to bother about GRE,CAT and other similar stuff that bother you and keep you awake all night! No relationship problems, no CDCs , no classes, and importantly , no comprees!! They don’t have to bother about what’s gonna happen two years down the line when you need to sit for those damn aptitude tests. No worries about the future or the past. Just live for the moment. Isn’t that the point anyways?

Man… I so wish I were a fish!

Groovy!

on Sunday, 28 January 2007

As I sit here, I wonder what makes the others oblivious to everything around them. They seem to inhabit a different universe. A universe filled with joy and ecstasy. They are filled with a strange energy- they don’t seem to tire. This intrigued me. The girl in red looks in my direction and beckons, with a knowing smile. Curious, I decide to join in. we walk towards the others, they are expecting us. They shuffle around and make some place for us. I stand there and wait, filled with a strange feeling….apprehension? I put this feeling away, I am too caught up with everything to take it seriously.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I feel a shove and open my eyes to look around. I notice that more people have joined us now and were jostling for place. A small smile spreads across my face. I look around, everyone seems to be having a good time. I still stand there and wait, unsure of what to do.

I give in, throwing all my fears away. A last doubt creeps into my head, I push that away too.

Suddenly, something in me changes. I am filled with the same energy. I attain a state of euphoria. I feel a rush as adrenaline fills my veins. I lose all sense of space and time. I close my eyes and enjoy the feeling. All my doubts and apprehensions slip away. All my thoughts and memories are lost in the depths of my mind. I panic and reach out for them, but they are too deeply buried for me to find. I give up. I decide to keep going and enjoy the high. I keep going till I become oblivious to everything around me. I can feel just one thing now. Bliss. Pure unadulterated bliss.

I look around and the world dissolves in a blur of colours. I laugh out loud. This is not quite enough and I scream. Yes, that was more like it!

Another feeling rushes into my head. It becomes impossible for me to ignore it. Nausea. Wave after wave of nausea hits me. My legs give way and I slump to the floor. I black out.

Marijuana?!!!...Music nite!



The Divide

Life is so easy…thought Shveta ,as she sipped on a glass of orange juice in bed ,early morning on the first day of her summer vacation. Kantha , the cook, walked into the room and announced, “dosas for breakfast! Hot and crisp, just the way you like it dear!”

“thank you”, shveta replied and asked again ,” where is mom?”

Before kantha could reply the bedside phone rang and Shveta picked it up

“Hello”

“good morning darling! I am sorry dear …I had to leave early, you know I am going on a vacation to Europe with my friends. I didn’t want to wake you up so early in the morning….Kantha will help you get ready for school ,be a good girl and go to school okay??”

“yes mom”

“bye darling”

Shveta put the phone down with a sigh- her mom forgot that her summer vacation had started and Shveta did not see any use of reminding her. Her dad was away on business as always. Looking at Shveta Kanta’s eyes filled up with tears and she left the room saying that she better get started with making lunch.

Shveta got out of bed and got dressed. She walked around her room and liked at her collection of toys and dolls. Her room was the largest of the 8 bedrooms that “sadat Manzil” boasted of. Her room looked like a toys’ store and had a home theatre system installed and Shveta hated it. She never played with any of the toys her dad bought back from his business trips abroad, the latest being a bicycle. She left the room to go play with her friends…..

Everyday was a battle in Lakshmi’s life. She woke up at 5 in the morning everyday and went for work with her mother. She came back home and took care of her three little brothers. Her mom came back in the evening and cooked dinner for the family, which they shared equally. Tataa was always in bed . He lost both his legs in the freedom struggle. He told brilliant stories and when he was in mood extremely funny ones. Lakshmi, her brothers and her friend loved to sit and listen to old Tataa’s ramblings. Her dad worked at the construction site and bought back cotton candy everyday for the kids to munch on.

The whole family slept on the floor in their shaky little hut. It was all right during most of the seasons, but the rainy season when the roof leaked.

Lakshmi just got back from work and ate had breakfast which usually consisted of left over food from the house where she worked and a lot of water. This too she had to share with her little bothers. The little kids were just getting ready to sit down and listen to Tataa’s stories when there was a knock on the door. Lakshmi’s face lit up with a smile, her friend was here. She opened the door and Shveta walked in.

The two girls and the kids sat down around tataa’s cot outside the hut and tataa started, “ I was a young man you know, when that idiot Ramaswamy tried to fool us…….”

The kid’s faces lit up with joy as tataa was going to tell them a funny story today and they prepared for another fun filled afternoon.

Unnamed

on Thursday, 25 January 2007

Nothing….this is what I have left now. The present holds no promise and the future looks bleak. My shoulders are weighed down by the burden of sorrow that I carry. The castles of my dreams turned out to be made of sand, and reality, like a brutal wave washed them away. Hope seems elusive…. she wants to have nothing to do with me. Lady luck agrees with her and turns her back on me. Both of them walk away, hand in hand, even as beg them to stay. They just smile serenely and shake their heads- they have given up on me. I reach out for love, expectant, even hopeful. But find an empty void instead. I realize that I should not have tried.

I look around; I am surrounded by darkness, inky black darkness. I feel oppressed, suffocated. Tears start rolling down my face. I am not ashamed of them, they offer some relief. I cry for a while, and then the tears stop coming too, denying me their solace. I look up mustering enough courage to face my maker and question him…..

And then He hears my plea….answers all my questions. I begin to understand things. I am filled with wondrous understanding as I realize something….I am not alone in this battle… He has always been by my side…His eyes are the stars… they shine down upon me…. I realize that the darkness is there so that the stars shine better. Hope and lady luck had just gone for a walk…they come back to me with wide grins on their faces. I am lost in the vastness of the night sky….. the hundreds of constellations spur my imagination and help me build more castles. The tears come back again…but this time they are full of joy…. New ideas form in my head offering more hope. Suddenly I feel a bond, it fills my entire being. I know that it’s the same bond that runs through every living thing in every distant planet. All watched over by the stars. I feel connected to the stars. A smile spreads across my face…

I like the darkness…. It helps me see the stars.